The Leo Valdez show
by TheBlueJellyBean
Summary: Leo Valdez on Hephaestus TV the myth magic crossover talk show!
1. Chapter 1

The Leo Valdez show!

Leo: Hello and welcome to the Leo Valdez show I'm with my amazing co-Hosts Fred and George Weasley! , Today we have a godly visitor to start of the show.

Leo: today's statement?

Fred Weasley: My brother stole my lightning bolt, I can prove it!

Leo: thanks Fred! Fan girls and Fan boys please welcome to the stage…Mr. Zeus!

(Zeus walks on)

Leo: hello Zeus so I here you've had an incident with your lightning bolt.

George Weasley: wait so the almighty Zeus lost his symbol of power? And I thought Fudge was bad!

Zeus: I don't know who you are kid but I'm going to crush you! It was stolen, BY POSIEDEN!

Fred: Wow watch-it sparky!

(Zeus growls)

Leo: well ok let's uh-just stop there huh? Any way so you say Poseidon stole it how, might I ask how do you know?

Zeus: well as you know he has tried to unseat me as the king of the gods before, and right after it was stolen he claimed JACKSON as his son!

Leo: and that proves what?

Zeus: did you literally just here what I said, he claimed a kid. Now were not aloud to steel it ourselves as gods but…our kids are!

Fred: wait whose Jackson?

Leo: tell you later. Now Zeus if I was to tell you that Poseidon was here on the show what would you say?

Zeus: ill give him a piece of my mind!

George: wizards and warlocks please welcome Mr. Poseidon!

Hephaestus: (whispers)

George: I mean Ladies and gentle men!

(Poseidon storms on)

Poseidon: IT WASN'T ME!

Leo: now folks we have taken a lie detector test so we'll find that out later

Zeus: POSEIDON IM GOING TO-TO-TO BLASTS YOU!

POSEIDON: NOT UNTIL I GIVE YOU A BATH!

(Security holds them back)

Leo: now boys take it easy

Poseidon: Percy didn't even know whom he was till _after_ it was taken!

Zeus: and I'm supposed to believe that how?

Poseidon: BECAUSE IM YOUR BROTHER!

Zeus: that changes nothing!

Fred: wow uh should we just give them the results now or-?

George: no! This is funny.

Zeus: ILL GIVE YOU FUNNY RANDOM MORTAL!

George: The names George and I'm a great and powerful wizard!

Poseidon: A what?

Leo: ANYWAY! Ok so Zeus you say Poseidon took your bolt and Poseidon you; say it wasn't you, _or_ Percy?

Poseidon: IT WASN'T!

Zeus: tell that to mother rhea, she liked me best any way!

Poseidon: NO SHE DIDN'T! 

Leo: getting away from the point!

Fred: where the popcorn?

(Both gods growl at Fred and George)

Leo: so to stop any one getting drowned or blasted with lightning, ill just cut to the chase.

Both Weasleys: AWWWW!

Leo: so the lie detector test results please Fred?

Fred: so I'm getting paid double for being with these guys? Ok the results are…

(Hands envelope to Leo)

Leo: Zeus is…wrong it wasn't Poseidon or Percy Jackson!

Poseidon: HA!

Zeus: WHAT! 

Leo: that's right folks daddy god is not always right!

Zeus: who was it then?

Leo: I don't know

(Percy Jackson bursts through the doors)

Percy: IT…WASN'T…ME!

Zeus: we know (says sadly)

Percy: IT…WAS…LUKE!

(Hermes crashes through other door)

Hermes: WHAT?

Percy: AND…ARES!

Zeus: WHAT?

Leo: well that's all for now see you next time

Zeus: I CANT BELIEVE THIS

George: yep! And subscribe to us on YouTube!

Poseidon: (dancing) I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

Fred: BYE!

Percy: wait who are they?

(Fred and George vanish in a bunch of blackness powder.)


	2. The leo Valdez show 2

**The Leo Valdez show!**

George Weasley: Hello and welcome to the Weasley show!

Leo: George!

Fred Weasley: Today we will be doing a Q & A!

Leo: Guys, this is my show, I should be introducing it!

George: Today we welcome to the stage…

Leo: Dad tell them to stop!

(Camera switches of for 3 seconds then…)

Leo: Hello and welcome to the Leo Valdez show!

Hephaestus: Just skip this part!

Leo: And we welcome to the stage…

Fred: Percy!

George: Jason!

Leo: And Nico! Sadly Thalia couldn't make it because she's hunting down some weird monster thing

George: But, we have the rest of the Big 3 gang!

(Audience claps Percy, Jason, and Nico walk on)

Leo: ok we have a question here from…Thalia!

Fred: She says _why was I not invited! This talk show is trash!_

Leo: Uh…Lets move on shall we?

George: Will asks, _do you ever wish you weren't a demi-god?_

Percy: All the time, though If I wasn't I would never had met Annabeth or Grover.

Leo: And me! You wouldn't have met me!

Percy: actually yeh, I could definitely live without being a demi-god.

Leo: Hey!

Fred: Next question!

Nico, Jason: Wait, we haven't answered!

George: We don't care, this ones from…Hades!

Leo: _Percy why are you so stupid?_

Nico: Because when he was little he got hit in the head REALLY hard!

Percy: Hey!

Jason: (sniggers)

Leo: Forget I read that one actually, lets find a good one…

Fred: Ooh, do that one!

George: Ron Weasley says _favourite foods?_

Fred: Typical Ron!

Nico: …Sandwiches?

Jason: Not sure…

Nico: Definitely not coffee yuck

Percy: Good one! Hmm… Blue cookies…Pizza! Yeh I like pizza…Cherry coke, Blue pancakes…oh and BBQ!...Also…

Nico: Hmmmm…

Jason: I like pizza…

Percy: donuts!

Leo: stop! Please your making me hungry!

Fred: This questions from Annabeth!

George: _Who is smartest?_ I know its not Percy.

Nico: I think I'm, smartest!

Jason: Nah, I'm pretty sure, ex-praetor of new-Rome would be smarter than you death breath.

Percy: What do you mean I'm not smart!

Nico: yeh well they call you EX-Praetor for a reason sparkles!

Percy: I am smart!

Jason: Can we move on now?

Percy: tell Annabeth, I AM SMART!

Leo (who is now eating a bucket of KFC): (Mumbles) this one is from Sally Jackson… _Percy, did you put on clean underwear?_

(Every one in audience laughs) (Percy blushes)

Fred: Nice one sally!

George: Harry potter said _How many times have you almost been killed?_

Nico: Hmm…Titan war…3? Giant war…I lost count.

Jason: Well I wasn't in the titan war, but I did topple the throne on Mt. tamalpais so 1, then about 5? Then probably another 6? 12

(Percy counting on his fingers)

Percy: Hmm…Fury 1, Minotaur 2, echidna 3, crusty 4, those creepy spiders in the tunnel of love 5, oh I cant be bovered to count, around 103 maybe?

Leo, Fred, and George: (Gawping)

Leo: Ok that concludes our Q & A!

Percy: Oh yeh and there was Tartarus! That must be around the 60 mark!

Leo: we'll see you next-

Percy: oh yeh I remember when I blew up that volcano! Is that what 30? People actually thought I was dead too! I went to my own funeral…he he

Jason and Nico: Dude!

Leo: Bye!

Percy: I fort a God once! That was like when I was 12! Wow time flies!

(Ares bursts onto the stage)

Ares: Rematch!

Leo: Please go _home!_

George: No, No wait this is funny, Fred gimme the popcorn!

Percy: (starts fighting Ares)

 **A few moments later…**

(Ares is beaten)

Percy: make that 104!

Ares: When you need your sword most you will fail!

Percy: don't use that curse again it didn't work last time did it?

(Camera switches off)

Leo: BYE!


	3. Chapter 3

Leo: Hello and welcome to the Leo Valdez show!

Fred: It's been a while has it not?

George: yeh like…6 months? Sorry folks we've been a little…busy? Yeh, busy

Leo: anyhow, I noticed looking back through the episodes that its been slightly one sided, so now we have a couple of new guests today.

Fred: Please welcome…

Thalia: **walks on** Thalia Grace!

George: Hold on…I don't think this was in the schedule.

Leo: Thalia? What the hell are you doing here?

Thalia: thought it was time someone good was on the show.

Fred: what ever. Anyway, we also welcome…

George: Lord Voldimort!

Leo: who? I thought you said we where getting That Potter dude.

 **Voldimort walks on**

 **Audience boos**

Fred: All right Voldy?

Voldimort: How dare you call me by that's spiteful name! I am Lord Voldimort to you boy!

George: That's fine, we cane get a different guest.

Leo: quite you lot. We also welcome…

Leo: Luke Castellan!

Fred: didn't he die?

George: even the dead can come on this show.

 **Luke walks on**

Luke: yo

Leo: I actually don't know who either of you are but Percy's told me about you Luke so we'll go with what I know.

George: So, how does it feel being branded as the villains?

Lord Voldimort: I was promised Potter would be here.

Luke: Villain? I thought at the end they all called me hero!?

Fred: yeh…whatever, you were a villain.

Thalia: In what way am I a villain?

Leo: I don't know! You weren't meant to be here!

Thalia: well you cant decide what I can and cant do!

Lord Voldimort: What's the point in all this? You lot are blood traitors right? I should probably just kill you.

Leo: N-no need for that!

Fred: You'd have a hard time, I'm dead already thanks to you!

George: Don't bring that up again bro! you know I'm still depressed!

Audience: Aweeeee

Luke: can I go now?

Leo: No! Its Q & A time. From the audience this time!

Audience: Yayyy

Fred: Okay…who wants to ask the first question?

Random audience member: me!

Leo: Okay please state your name and ask your question

 **luna Lovegood stands**

Luna: I'm Luna Lovegood and this is for you know who. Have you ever come face to face with a nargle?

Voldimort: what the bloody hell is a Nargle?

Luna: I guess you haven't. (sits back down)

Leo: Interesting question…luna.

 **Zoe nightshade stands**

Zoe: I'm Zoe nightshade, lieutenant of Artemis and the hunters-

Thalia: **coughs** Former **caughs**

Zoe: What ever. My question is for Thalia. Didn't you and Luke have a thing for each other? How did you cope when Luke died?

Luke: **looks at thalia** interesting question zoe

Thalia: **blushes** I would never have a crush on a boy! He-he betrayed us anyway.

Zoe: mhm **sits down**

Leo: next?

 **Harry Potter stands**

Voldimort: Potter! There you are!

Harry: I am harry potter and my question is for Lord Voldimort.

Voldimort: I'm listening

Harry: Why don't you have a nose?

 **Dumbledore stands up**

Dumbledore: Omg harry you cant just ask people why they don't have a nose!

Harry: why its weird.

Voldimort: Harry potter you will pay!

Harry: no thank you! **runs out of studio**

Dumbledore: Well I think having no nose is sexy.

Voldimort: Do you really think?

Dumbledore: **blows kiss**

Leo: GONNA HAVE TO CUT IT SHORT THIS TIME! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


End file.
